Prepare to get educated, conservatives.
In a world of ignorance, free-thinkers are taking a stand against society’s outdated notion that a family is composed of two parents and their children. Donnie Mueller is one of many open-minded people working hard to correct this naive belief. Our blind culture may consider his family unconventional, but Donnie refuses to let that shame him from fathering 67 precious fur babies.
Wow. Now this is a man who absolutely rejects society’s antiquated definition of family.
It all started in his formative years, where Donnie says he had a rough upbringing. “My parents called my fleece brother a cat and treated him like a pet. It was so degrading. With my new family of 67 beautiful fluff babies, I’m hoping to provide them with the quality childhood that my long deceased sibling could only dream of.”
And before society unjustly attacks this ambitious single father, please take note that Mr. Mueller has an unbreakable bond with all of his tabby toddlers. He wakes up early to share catnip with Fuzz Aldrin, takes afternoon naps in the sun with Catminster Fuller, and holds nighttime grooming sessions with all of his whiskered infants.
And like every normal family, the Mueller’s have been through some hard times. Last week Meowtha Stewart choked and died on a mouse and incest has become more than just a phase. Donnie lovingly grooms Leonardo DiCatrio’s pelt before saying, “The stress of fatherhood is difficult, but watching my bearded beauties grow up happy makes it all worth it.
The evidence is clear: The Mueller’s are definitely your typical American family!